Is Your Baby Ready for Sleep Training? (And What We Call It Instead)

Baby Sleep

Apr 3

When your baby is ready to sleep through the night, it’s a major “light at the end of the tunnel” moment. You have your evenings back, you don’t dread the night, you feel like yourself again.

So how do you know when your baby is ready for “sleep training”? (and why don’t we use this term).

Here’s our checklist for determining if a little one is ready for the Sleep Wave – that highly-coveted new sleep plan – that fully transforms sleep:

They’re about 5 months or older.
They’re healthy and growing well.
They’re unswaddled and have been doing lots of tummy time.
It’s taking longer and longer to feed or rock them to sleep.
They wake up the second you lay them down!
They arch their back and push away as you try to soothe them.
Naps are short or skipped.
They’re on the other side of the 3-4 month sleep regression/cognitive surge.
The old soothing ways and tricks are not working as well.

In our sleep consults, this question of readiness comes up a lot. The overall feeling parents get is that they’re holding their baby back. And they’re right, this is the crux of it. These babies are telling us they’re capable, and the old ways aren’t working. They’re ready for a new plan.

Why there’s no “training” in sleep training

Sleep training is the term most people use, but it’s not accurate. “Training” implies you have to learn a skill, from the outside in. But sleep is natural and comes from the inside out. The reason babies 5 months and older wake in the night more often than they need to, isn’t that they don’t have the ability to sleep. It’s that their habits and expectations – or what we call “sleep associations” – are getting in the way. They’re still in the habit of reaching out externally for help, when they already have everything internally that they need to sleep through the night.

So, instead of telling your friends you’re going to “sleep train” your baby, you could tell them you have a new sleep plan, you’re handing over the role of self-soothing to your capable baby, you’re getting out of your baby’s way, you’re allowing your baby to sleep!

Sleep is natural and babies are built to sleep. We just have to wait for those early months of rapid development to do their magic. The truth is, it’s the parents we’re training! Training them to stop helping when their baby doesn’t need help anymore, and doing it in a way that maintains a secure bond.

This is, in our opinion, the absolute best part of teaching parents the Sleep Wave. When parents implement it, babies figure out their own unique ways of getting cozy. They let go of the distraction of constantly feeling dependent on our help for falling asleep, and back to sleep, in the night. You can see their confidence and personal soothing ways unfold.

💡 This sounds like my baby and I’m ready!

Take the Sleep Wave online class (includes a free 15 min phone consult with Julie or Heather) —>

FAQ

We typically recommend starting around 5 months, when babies are developmentally ready to learn self-soothing.
Some protest crying is normal, but babies remain calm and secure because parents respond predictably and frequently.
Most families see improvements in under a week when they follow the plan consistently.
Not at all. The Sleep Wave is a gentle, responsive approach that preserves connection while teaching independence.

Author Bios

Julie Wright, MFT & Heather Turgeon, MFT

We're Julie Wright and Heather Turgeon — psychotherapists, and authors of the best-selling book The Happy Sleeper.

We're also both moms, so we know what it feels like to be desperate for sleep while also wanting, above all else, what's best for our babies.

We created The Happy Sleeper method to give parents a science-based, developmental approach to healthy sleep and a healthy bond. We’ve helped over 100,000 parents achieve this goal, and we’re excited to help you too!